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How to Write a Book

The problem with book writing is that it seems impossible. The average person will usually only see the finished product and think, “There is no way I could write something that long…” and so they never even try. But I’ve learned something about writing books from the two how to books I’ve written so far which makes it easier for me to work on this novel.

What I’ve learned should be common sense but in today’s instant gratification minded world it seems like we all need to be reminded of common sense every so often. This is what I’ve learned: You will not write your book in one day. It will take you several months or years. It depends on the time you invest. So if all the time you have to write is 15 minutes before you clock in at work (which is what I am doing) then use that time and try to write a page. If you do that once a day and try not to go back and revise your work too much (editing should come after you spew your words onto the paper) in a year you would have about 300 pages or so. That’s your novel. It’ll take one work break a day to write it and you could finally check it off of your bucket list.

The only thing that ever stops you from accomplishing anything is you. Stop being lazy and start accomplishing the things you want to do someday. Like they say, someday is just a nice way to say never. So stop making excuses for yourself and do something with your life already!

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Backup – Part 1: Falling Apart

Hey guys, I’ve always wanted to write a novel and I finally had a good idea I think. I’ve been writing in my spare time for a while and this is what I have got so far. For those of you who need a warning this is written towards the 20 somethings who are into scifi. Part one won’t seem very scifi like but at this point i am just laying the groundwork. I plan on going back through all that I’m writing and posting on here once it’s done and editing and improving it but for now I’ll simple write a bit and post it as is. And yes I do plan on selling this book once it is done.

So anyways… thats how i always cut back to the thought i was nervously splicing together in my mind. I never really considered myself to be a story teller but after everything I have been through and after everything i have learned and seen it’s beginning to become imperative that i start trying to get this story out to the world.

You see, I’m one of those average Joe’s you always see twittling his thumbs or starring blankly at his phone on the bus or train. Not that I’ve ever been on public transportation, just that i feel like if i had this would make more sense to you.

It’s hard too decided where to start when you have something of grave importance to tell your audience. Do you start at the beginning and run the risk of the story being to slow and driving away your readers before the good parts begin? Or should you trick your readers into caring about the story by starting it off like the climax of an action movie?

To be honest i don’t really know which to choose, that being said my mind always seems to revert to me sitting on a train staring at a poster that i believed would take my life to higher places. I had never ridden on a train before that day. But it wasn’t the highlight of my life and is only really memorable to me now because i had been having a really shitty week up until that point.

It started out like any other week, the sun came up long after i had woken up. I was staring at the ceiling waiting for my alarm to go off so that i could feel like it wasn’t a horrible thing for me to be getting out of bed. There were of course little annoying birds chirping outside and as much as i wanted to blame them for my being awake i simply couldn’t.

I hated lying and especially hated the idea of lying to myself. So instead i stared at the ceiling trying not to think of the cold space on the left side of the bed. I tried not to think about who use to be there or how much i hated her. But that never works does it? It’s like counting sheep but in reverse, everyone says just do it and it will work but then you find yourself receiving the advice you used to dish out and you want to punt the next person who brings it up.

At the time i couldn’t remember what brought up the fight but i know i really fucked up. Every piece of my being was telling me to shut up, to stop reacting but my pride had a plan of its own that night and boy did it get a word in edgewise.

So i just laid there staring through the ceiling, my eyes red and not really focused on anything. My mind racing in circles while i tired too flatten its stupid tires. I don’t think i slept that night, not for even a moment. My stomach had been in knots since she stormed out. It was like the butterflies that hatched when i met her had reverted back into their old caterpillar form and they all decided that the meat diet was in fashion this fall.

There was a half empty bottle of pepto on my night stand and i was in the middle of reaching for the caterpillar poison right as the alarm went off. I jumped and knocked it over onto the floor where it sat on its side oozing it’s sickly pink chalk goo all over the face of a shattered picture frame of the love of my life, i jumped up swearing. The tips of my fingers brushed the frame right as my sleep deprived mind reminded me the girl behind the shattered glass hated me.

I just stared for a moment. The pink ooz slowly spread till her face was covered. My fingers had a little bit of the ooz on them as well. I sighed and sat back down on my bed. Staring silently at the mess not knowing quite what i should do about it.

I licked the pepto off of my fingers, and as for the frame? I opted to leave it there.

I hate it when the narrator jumps around haphazardly without any warning so I’ll just let you know that i had eggs and toast, sat around for a few hours and then wandered begrudgingly down to my car, intent on heading to work. Or i would have if it was still where i had parked it.

There was a spattering of glass shards covering the pavement and parking paint right by where i had parked. I just stood there for a while staring at the spot like a deer watching its death speeding towards it, horns blaring. The next thing i knew i was sat on the ground, not really looking at anything and not really thinking either.

The next thing I knew I had sent a text out to my buddy Bob, he was going to take me to work. I just told him my car wasn’t working, I didn’t feel like i deserved any sympathy today. As i stood up and pocketing my phone i heard a low rumble of thunder and glanced up as a drop of rain smack me right square in the forehead, how fucking cliche…

Bob had been pretty nice that morning, which was surprising to be because he’s not a morning person and is usually a total dick if you woke him up before noon. But he was cheerful as ever, drumming his hands on his streeringwheel, bobbing his head to black hole sun as it played in the background on the radio.

That being said he wasn’t really conversational. He didn’t even mention not seeing my car in the parking lot that he had picked me up from. As per usual he simply pulled up, window slightly rolled down and asked me, “how much?” In the best shitty Borat impression he could muster.

I hopped in with a sigh and was immediately thrown back into the seat, the door slammed before i could close it. He was giggling with that standard shit-eating-grin Bob was known for by his friends. So basically just me.

You see Bob was one of those comic geniuses that the world would never really understand. He was always reaching for a joke, usually for his own enjoyment but sometimes if you were lucky and the stars and the moon aligned just right Bob would make them for your benefit. Unfortunately for me the next alignment was a ways off…

It wasn’t that far to work and i guess i could have walked but with the way things had been going i felt like seeing my best friend for a while. Even if that did mean i was going to be his personal voodoo doll for his bad joke pins. Something about having him around always seemed to help me feel a little bit better. Today it was a struggle to feel better but he definitely did lighten my mood a little bit. That was good because it was about to go critical.

I was late, my schedule had changed over the weekend and i never called to verify it. I found myself sitting in my managers office. He was scrolling through some Facebook pages highlighting big tits, tattoos, and weed. Ordinarily the dude was pretty laid back but today he was tense.

He never acted like my manager unless his made him act like it. And that was what was happening today. We were waiting for the big boss to come in. There was an important meeting this morning i had missed and he was coming back from across town to catch me up on what i had missed.

I kept catching him, whose name is John by the way, watching me out of the corner of his eye. He would try to hide it and act like he was reading by purposefully moving his eyes back and forth when he noticed i caught him. But he didn’t seem to realize i could see the monitor in the reflection of a closed circuit security monitor that was conveniently turned off and was sitting at just the right angle for me to see he was scrolling through some bikini pictures.

I didn’t really blame him for looking, even if we were at work. But him trying to hide the fact that he was watching me was unnerving. I wish he would just focus on his pseudo porn and leave me be till his boss showed up.

Unfortunately for me that was exactly what happened just a few minutes later. Without knocking the door flew open, bouncing off the wall it swung wildly into and almost slammed back into the face of John’s boss. The dude was massive he had to turn slightly to make it through the door frame. He didn’t seem to look at John or myself, his eyes darted to the turned off tv screen and mine followed. I saw John quickly closed out of the browser window and all that was left on the screen was employee names and schedules listed.

Bossman scowled at John who seemed to shrink in his already too large Abercrombie polo. It was obvious at this point i was in trouble. I just wasn’t really sure how much trouble. John stood up and walked around the desk, hand out as if to shake his boss’ hand.

Bossman just growled, “Shut the door, John.” And then walked past him and sat down in John’s chair.

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Just Adult Things

So tonight I had one of those weird thoughts I felt like others might find interesting, and because the frequency of these interesting thoughts (at least in my head they seem interesting) happening decreases with an ever growing swiftness. Or maybe I am just realizing that most of those thoughts aren’t actually interesting but I’ve learned to stop listening to my own bullshit and am now able to pick out what is actually somewhat more interesting now than I could even a year before now.

I like the fact that I am growing up in the internet generation. I think it is very interesting that I will be a part of the generation that publicly brings up in an almost sarcastic and yet brutally honest ways of stereotyping a reality of life, that there are just adult things like in those stupid and excessively shared preppy posters that spread around Facebook like a winter cold in schools.

And those just adult things as much as we will all hate them for how boringly overdone they are and they just so annoyingly remind us of MySpace when we were teenagers. We will hate them but they will be true, and for once the young people from that generation forward will see in a way that they can relate to the reality of growing up and will hopefully begin to fearfully cling to their youth while they still understand what they will be missing when it’s gone.

I hope that that is the way things work out. I always wish I could have done even more in my youth than I had. I am known among my friends as a hard worker and an entrepreneur. But I feel like if I deserve those titles then I should be brutally honest about myself and those titles. If I had actually put 10% of my effort into even one of my businesses I wouldn’t be working for someone else today.

You have to try to not succeed it seems and I should know, I have tried the hardest for the longest time. I’m not sure why, maybe I just didn’t understand that there really is an end to all of this, even though I was commonly heard saying otherwise. Maybe it is simply not a thought that sinks through the adolescent brain.

But I hope, maybe with my generation as one last bad example our culture will take a step forward and evolve a little bit mentally and learn to appreciate their lives before they’ve used so much of it for so little to show of it.

That’s basically the thought, yea, it’s long and drug out but it did take place over the course of a car ride home after work, which accounted for 40 minutes and in the two way trip it is 1.33 hours of my day.

Here’s a few just adult things to get this crap started: “The older you get, the more you appreciate not doing anything at all. #JustAdultThings” “I can finally sleep in all day and eat whatever I want but now I don’t want to. #JustAdultThings” “I’m gonna be a daddy!!! #JustAdultThings” If you’ve got one leave it in the comments, don’t get too bad, some of them are supposed to be good. Hell leave a sarcastic one if you want to. 😉

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JT Nickel’s Shuppet Donk – Let’s Play Yo-Yo – Ep. 010

In episode 10 of Let’s Play Yo-Yo Mike tackles the deceptively hard Shuppet Donk trick developed by JT Nickle, an evil mastermind of trick composition whose very trick nearly killed Mike. Also Danyel says hi! Anyways… Uhm… Oh yea, in this episode Mike also answers a few questions about his favorite contests, how yo-yoing has impacted his life, and a few yo-yo/baby crossover questions.


#SaveAGelada2 #GoshDarnit:

Stalk Mike: | |

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Starting Over

It seems like every so often, every three years or so, I end up losing a very important file or backup somehow and have to rebuild a website. Well, this time I didn’t lose anything, I just ran out of money. I was no longer able to pay my hosting, and because of that I lost my three most important sites. Well my two most important sites. This one isn’t one of them. The biggest loss when it comes to this site for me was the years worth of blog posts I’ll never recover.

That being said not one person has mentioned to me, “Hey, your website is down buddy!” So I assume it wasn’t missed the last five months. Not a big deal at the end of the day, if people didn’t miss it then I was doing something wrong. If I don’t miss it then I was really doing something wrong.

At any rate my buddy Dennis helped me out with hosting while I get back on my feet in this online world. I’m lucky to have a good friend like him to bail me out of this no-no I’ve fallen into when it comes to having a website and being a savvy computer user in 2014.

I should have backed up YoYoCourse and Site Traffic School… Luckily I was planning on overhauling both of those websites once I had the money to bring them back online. So at the end of the day I feel this is a sort of blessing in disguise.

At any rate, if you saw this and you were happy that my site is back I’d love it if you left me a comment so I knew. Keep an eye out for more blogs and video content which I typically post something of once a week!